Lament

'A person wearing a watch holding a bunch of gravel in their hand' by pan xiaozhen on Unsplash

I still look back at the photos, the memories we made, I still reread the messages, the games that we played, I still feel the pain in my chest, the ghost that stayed, I should let this go,

I can’t stop looping, a projection on repeat, I can’t look ahead, blind staring at my feet, I can’t decide, was this victory or defeat, I should let this go,

I remember the good times, the laughs and the jokes, I remember the dinners, at home with the folks, I remember less each day, a price of the tokes, I should let this go,

I find new paths to the past, every day a new direction, I find myself with bottle in hand, another disconnection, I find strength inside of me, self-driven correction, I shouldn’t let this go.

The memories though both physical and emotional should always stay as a lesson, a celebration, a section of life. A life that is destined to change, to grow, to lose and to flow. So while I can’t look at you in the eyes without putting on a poised persona, I am happy. Happy to have had the experiences, the emotions, the education. Happy to have been a part of you, and you of me. Happy that it’s over.